T h e A r c h i v e s

His Reply:

The meeting of one’s soul mate can have a life changing effect on a person. You always tend to question if there exists of such a thing. Documentaries have shown the behavior of mammals, in the form of animals who search all their life for that one soul mate, and from there onwards it’s just a life of eternity, in tune, and together discovering the wonders of life.

They say, “Until you learn to take care of yourself, only then will you be able to take care of another” What did that mean? Why was all that important.

Thru the acts of unselfishness, an individual can disregard and put another ahead of oneself, an act defined, as giving one’s all. To the eyes of the cynic, it is a far fetched concept, and a path to disaster. Some understand these concepts, but to these ‘some’ it is  merely an urban myth, a folklore told by wise ones.

 An idealists, will tell you, it is out there. Just a matter of searching, or simply to not give up on an idea portrayed  in books or literature dating back.

 You go through life meeting many interesting individuals who cradle, guide, teach, or simply destroy every principle of belief you can ever have. Not sounding all too bitter, it is essential to weigh out the good and the bad. What are these ramblings?

 When you finally meet that one person, who changes you to become a better person, going through life with your eyes wide open, they say hold on.

 Hold on to it.

 Embracing this concept, this ideology or this train of thought that once existed has arisen again. I met her finally, the one thing I have been searching for all my life.

Penguins they call it.

He brings with him all the goodness I can ask for in a man and much more. His sincerity and honesty is his biggest asset. Loving him is effortless.

Born in the same era, the same country. Grew up in the same vicinity. We were in each other’s presence since we were young though we did not know each other then.

Years passed and we both led our lives, oblivious of the other’s existence. He lived abroad most of his life while I stayed. Despite the different cultures and environment, we share the same views, same thoughts, same taste in music even the same taste in food. Both found comfort in music, both grew up having same idealistic views of how love should be. Two complete strangers growing up and going through similar ordeals in life.

~Our paths finally crossed. We finally meet.~

Little did I know that I’d be having conversations with my soul mate over coffee and cigarettes.
Little did I know, the person next to me, whom I pushed out a car, whom I was screaming at over a bug would be the one for me.
Eventually, at one point of time, both thought “this could be the one.”
Yet neither one voiced out. It was just there.
He wasn’t ready.
I was afraid.
The time was not right.
Fate only gave us a preview of what was to come.

Life went on. We parted ways again. It just wasn’t the right time for us to be together…

I thought I’ve been in love before. Maybe I was but it wasn’t TRUE love. In the relationships I had I used the term ‘love’ too many times. Yet a part of me always held back. It was as if I was saving that small part of me for my soul mate, only I didn’t know who he was or that I’ve met him. I was ready to settle for companionship. I was ready to settle for second best. But all that I went through in my previous relations, was just lessons for me to learn. I needed to gain more experience in the matters of love. Something I had to go through.

Fate was telling me that I wasn’t ready for my soul mate. Had I voiced out then, it would’ve been different for I was still naïve, I was still confused. I was still cynical. I was still bitter from my last relationship. I wouldn’t have given him my all and he deserves my all and so much more.

I needed to go crazy; I needed to find myself again. I needed to feel young again. And so I did.

Despite all that, I found myself missing the conversations we had. Only to realize now I actually missed him. I would disregard the butterflies in my stomach every time I saw him or heard from him. I would ignore the sudden increase of my heart rate when I spoke to him. Ignore how my voice would somehow become airy if I asked about him. All the tell tale signs of me falling in love. Everyone saw it I guess, those little things that I ignored.

Fate intervened again. This time it hit me hard. I came back.
Back to my roots..
Back to my country.
Home ground.
Fate also gave me some things to think about.
Fate gave me problems to solve.
Gave me issues that made me re-evaluate my relations.

I grew up. I became tired of being youthful. I wanted to act my age. I wanted to be responsible. I wanted to come back down to earth -to reality.
And I did.

As destiny would have it, my soul mate was back as well.
Our paths have crossed again, this time it was to be the final crossing.
We had drinks and cigarettes again.
We had more conversations.
We shared more thoughts, more views.
We began to learn about one another more in-depth than our previous crossing.
We were given time to spend with one another.
But fate can only bring two people so far.
It was up to us to read the signs and act upon it.

And so one fine day…
…we did.

it took us 264 days since the first day we met to voice out.
172 days of thinking “What if…”
92 days for him to find love.

Now…
I can’t stop thinking about him.
I’ve never felt so much love coming from one person.
I’ve never been so sure in my life that this is the man whom I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I love him so much that the feeling is overwhelming.
Everyday my feelings for him grow stronger.
With each passing day, with every rising and setting of the sun, I think of him.
He is my first and last thought.
I am thankful that I found my soul mate.

He is my love. He is my life. He is my world.

I love you Asri.
You are my first and my last.

Always and forever,